25 ways to get closer with your child
[PAGED_GALLERY] [GPAGE] If he is still small [/ GPAGE]
Of course, you probably regularly do most of what is written here, simply because all loving mothers and fathers do this. And if the maximum number of proposed actions becomes a habit, relations with the child will become truly healthy and happy.
1. Do not rush to pull the baby out of bed by the alarm clock, as soon as he opens his eyes. It’s better to lie around a bit and go out with it. And in the evening, before going to bed, get into the baby's bed, hold him close and lie down for several minutes, whispering how happy you are to be the parent of such a wonderful little one. Let the child fall asleep with confidence that in his small world everything is in order.
2. Take a moment to sit next to your child at breakfast and talk about him and your plans for the day.
3. If the baby is already able to read, write something funny and gentle and hide the little note in his pocket or lunch box. The child is not yet literate? Then draw a picture with hearts for him.
4. While driving or walking to kindergarten / school, recite two verses funny poems or hum songs. Or maybe it will be a story with a sequel that you will compose daily together?
5. Create your own “secret code”For example, if you squeeze your palm three times, it means "I love you."
[GPAGE] A few more tips for kids [/ GPAGE]
6. Saying goodbye until the evening, say that you will look forward to meeting (this is true). And try instead of the usual “Behave yourself!” henceforth say "Have a merry day!" or something else, but always inspiring.
7. Are you coming home by car? Turn off the radio: Next to you is a storyteller who is eager to tell about the events of the day. Listen to it carefully, ask questions and demonstrate your interest in all available ways.
8. Laugh sincerely at the kid's jokes. Of course, humor at this age can be quite peculiar, but your reaction will still be pleasant for children.
9. If the child is worried about some troubles, do not break off his emotional story. and do not rush to offer a way out. To begin with, just listen carefully and let him make sure that you understand and share his feelings, that they are just as important to you as they are to him.
10. At dinner, suggest a topic of conversation that the child could support. You and your husband will discuss all adult issues later, one-on-one, and now a family meal. Do not miss the baby's replica, be sure to respond to them.
[GPAGE] What you need to tell your child [/ GPAGE]
11. Find at least 15 minutes to spend alone with your child - playing, reading, drawing or just fooling around. No lessons and other socially useful activities - only a pleasant joint pastime, generously seasoned with hugs, kisses and tenderness. It will be really cool if for these quarter of an hour you and the child switch roles: he will say what to do and you will obediently follow the instructions of the “command”.
12. Demonstrate a sincere interest in what is dear to the baby. Yes, a teddy bear is a toy that you yourself bought. But for a child, this is a true friend who lives a very eventful life. Just wonder what the bear had lunch with and where he is going for a walk - the child will be happy to talk about this in detail.
Tell the child:
I love you. I love you no matter what. I love you even when you're mad at me. I love you even when I'm angry with you. If I could choose from all the children on Earth, I would choose only you. I really liked our game / your drawing / craft. Thank.
Tell your baby:
How did you wait for his birth; how you chose his name and took him from the hospital; what you yourself were at his age; how did you learn to lace up shoes, draw and write (only honestly, not embellishing reality); that sometimes it’s also difficult for you to cope with your work and household chores.
Why do you think this happened? What do you think will happen if ??? What can be done to correct the situation? What are you thinking now? What are you feeling now?
[GPAGE] If he is already a teenager [/ GPAGE]
Yesterday, your baby was happy with his mother’s kisses, and today, instead of a baby, there is a prickly hedgehog running away from his arms and snapping back in response to gentle words. But adolescents, even the most gloomy and hot-tempered, still need to feel loved and valuable. Keep this feeling in them, but not as straightforward as before.
1. Be patient. Do not take on your account the desire of the child to step back, retire, or even leave. Just know: this "terrible" mood will pass sooner or later, and he will return to you. Your task is to be around when a teenager, in the end, needs a parent society. Try to convey to the young rebel that you perfectly understand what chaos is happening in his soul (you yourself went through the storms of puberty), that this is completely normal, and that your love for him is unchanged in any case.
2. Show respect. Yes, this is not easy to admit and accept, but at this stage the child is much more important what his friends think about him, and not his parents at all. And in the eyes of friends, a teenager wants to look cool, adult and completely independent. So play along with him a little. Save your kisses, hugs, home nicknames and familiar addresses until you are alone. You should not especially be fond of the child or, conversely, lecture him and provide valuable instructions in front of friends (and even more so - enemies). And by the way, touching a teenager without warning (for example, ruffling his hair while walking by) is also not a good idea: you violate his personal space.
3. Create rituals. The body is rapidly transforming, the head is spinning from previously unknown thoughts and desires - it is not surprising that the child suddenly starts to avoid parental touch or, for example, violently protests against visits to his room, especially in the evenings. Do not be offended, better invent new ways to demonstrate your love. Saying goodbye at the school door, send the child a kiss or give a friendly pat on the shoulder. When he sits at a computer, stroke his palm. Thus, your mutual tactile “hunger” will be satisfied, but the adolescent will not feel awkward.
4. Show your interest. Suppose you consider modern music to be wild cacophony, and youth television shows to be pointless bullshit (exactly like your own parents used to be). But a teenager - that's the news! - he finds something in all this ugliness. Sit nearby, shoulder to shoulder, watch a few clips, ask why he likes this particular artist, what he usually sings about
5. Seize the moment. Yes, your obstinate teenager builds a displeased physiognomy whenever you reach out to him with fondness. But his life is now full of situations where he feels extremely vulnerable and needs support. Conflict with best friend, excitement in front of control, desperate rejection of one's own reflection in the mirror. Most likely, the child does not admit that he urgently needs your emotional help, but this is a fact - he needs it. Do not miss the moment, be near to just reassuringly take the poor fellow by the shoulders and let him know - "I am near, I see you, I understand and share your feelings."
[GPAGE] How to communicate [/ GPAGE]
6. Praise him. Of course, expressing admiration for the actions of the child is now not easy - a skeptical teenager with one eyebrow movement can devalue even the most sincere praise. Try to praise sincerely and for very specific actions and achievements. The child gave reason for pride - won the competition, corrected the score in the quarter? So tell him that you are proud of him. By the way, the praise expressed not to the teenager personally, but to “third parties” and heard by him by chance, is very much appreciated. After all, this is an indicator that you are talking very seriously.
7. Family leisure. Yes, having fun (and never quarreling) to spend a day off with a teenager is a practically impossible task. Nevertheless, “family exits” are an excellent solution to strengthen your relationship: shared impressions and experiences, as well as their subsequent discussions, truly bring together. You just have to work hard to find a leisure format that suits all family members. Establish general rules: a good mood is more important than small deviations from the plan, and the phrase “do not want to” should be supported by arguments. Choose something that is really interesting to everyone: maybe it's some kind of sport, or a board game, or just a new movie - but do it together.
Three more tips
It is often extremely difficult for children to talk about important things out loud; many would rather prefer to write about “self-self”. Therefore, use the opportunities that modern technologies provide (SMS, chat, e-mail, social networks, photos and “demotivators”) - this will bring you closer.
I hear you
For the baby to hear you, sit in front of him - so that his eyes are on the same level. Adolescents usually do not favor gaze, and this must be taken into account. The position “opposite each other” will almost certainly be losing, try to sit next to each other - there’s more chance that the conversation will turn out.
Have a chat?
In response to your “How are you?” the teenager is likely to growl “Normal” - and this will end the conversation. Imagine that you are at a party and want to win over a new acquaintance: you are unlikely to show irritation and impatience. Most likely you will try to talk a person by asking questions about what really interests him. When communicating with a child, act in the same way, respond to his answers, comment on them, ask leading questions - in general, do not let the conversation stall if you really want to chat with your offspring.