Does the child need free time
Modern children live in a society with a frantic rhythm, from an early age they are aimed at achievement and victory. It seems that they know more and more, and they absorb information faster! But the child has less time for the most ordinary games and walks. How to find a balance between employment and freedom - and is it needed?
Go to success?
The rhythm of life of a modern child is difficult to envy. Let's calculate: in the morning - a kindergarten or school, 6-8 lessons, that is, almost a full day, which begins earlier than most adults (and sometimes lasts longer). Then - circles and sections (sports, music, foreign languages), additional classes or tutors, and we will not forget about daily homework!
Of course, we, the parents, are loading the child with the best of intentions - after all, the habit of working and the development of all possible abilities should, in theory, help our children succeed in the future. But often, instead of achievements and successes, parents get the opposite picture: the child looks tired and lethargic, often sick, does not show interest in any new activities. What is the matter?
There may be several reasons. One of them, causing mental and physical exhaustion of the child’s body, is the idea of early development of the baby that is misunderstood by parents. Moms and dads are sure that “to develop” means to teach everything as soon as possible, literally “from the cradle”. In fact, at any age, a child needs harmonious development, because in addition to intelligence, he also has a soul, a body, which also require attention.
Of course, the question of how early to start developing a child is decided by each family itself, but if you have made a choice in favor of early intellectual development, you need to remember this:
- No prolonged uniformity - the activity should be replaced every 10-15 minutes.
- In no case do not "drag" the baby, do not cram facts and information with him - the child perceives information only if it is served in the game. 5 children's games for learning English.
- Choose the right time for training - you can deal with the child when he is ready for it, that is, he does not cry, is happy, wants to learn new things.
The kid grows up, and parents have one more reason to load it beyond measure. The child is enrolled in a huge number of additional classes, which load both preschoolers and schoolchildren. Parents are encouraged by the idea that they provide their child with the widest opportunities for development, but they do not want to notice that the child is gradually ceasing to enjoy the many activities.
Sociologist Anna Kuleshova notes: “Today, the requirements for parenthood have changed: it is important not only to provide the child with food, clothes and toys, but also to give a good education. But the criteria for “good” are still vague, so mothers and fathers often try to give children more, offer everything at once, often ignoring their needs and opportunities.
Another reason for being keen on circles and additional activities is that it is important for us to seem like a “good mother” to ourselves and others, to achieve excellence in this, sometimes abandoning other social roles. But at the same time, values are being replaced, and the issue of development and education does not turn into the goal of giving the child more, but rather as a reason to compete with other "professional mothers": they have chosen more diverse groups for the child - excellent, you are an active, interested mother, you have what to be proud of; Do not lead a child anywhere, which means you do not develop it. For some mothers, it’s easier to “pass” the child into a circle - thereby freeing up some personal time for themselves and expanding the space for communication.
In addition, the culture of free time is still poorly developed in our society, and there may even be some kind of moral panic - because a child, if he is not busy with anything, will immediately slide towards laziness, terrible behavior, and various kinds of addictions. ”
Parents do not understand why, instead of gratitude, the children are capricious, refuse to engage, and whine. In fact, the present is sacrificed to the future. Many people think that childhood is just a preparation for life. A huge mistake! In fact, this is a valuable period, the main component of which is the game.
Another cause of overwork is information overload, in which dependence on a tablet, phone or TV is formed very quickly. The fact is that many modern cartoons and computer games are designed in such a way that they cause powerful nervous tension, act immediately on all the senses of the child and, moreover, quickly become addictive. Therefore, in childhood, communication with gadgets should still be regulated by time and sorted by parents by content. How to cope with children's computer addiction. Dangerous signs
First you need to figure out how to distinguish between fatigue that will pass after a night's sleep or a weekend, and chronic overwork. The latter usually implies a state of the body in which performance decreases as a result of excessive load on the body.
Symptoms of child overwork can be seen quite easily:
- In preschool children, overstrain is manifested primarily through a change in the emotional state. A child with a weak nervous system becomes tearful, moody, he has a sharp increase in the number of fears and increases seemingly unfounded general anxiety. Children with a stronger nervous system become disinhibited and aggressive. Moreover, it often seems to parents that if a child is tired, his mobility will decrease, and just like an adult, he will want to lie down, relax and rest. But in children, everything happens exactly the opposite! In addition, the child may appear neurotic manifestations - for example, from stress, he may begin to bite his nails.
- In younger schoolchildren, one can notice a decrease in mental abilities, in particular, distraction. The child constantly loses something, forgets, makes elementary mistakes, those that are usually called mistakes "by inattention." In some cases, even coordination of movements may be disturbed - literally everything falls out of hand. When performing more complex mental operations, for example, analysis, comparison, an overworked baby is also not up to par.
- Symptoms of overload are also impaired appetite and sleep. If you see that the baby began to fall asleep badly, he has nightmares, and he wakes up not rested, this is a clear reason to reduce the load.
- Not only the child’s nervous system, but also his physical health can suffer. The body gradually loses its ability to resist viruses, the child is not only chased by frequent colds, but chronic diseases are exacerbated.
Game like a care
In 2013, the UN legislated the right of the child to play, now it is spelled out in the international Convention on the Rights of the Child, recognized in many countries of the world. The impact of the game on children's development is enormous. Psychotherapists say that even children who have experienced serious psychological trauma, cope with the shock experienced precisely through the "children's" activities: playing, drawing, modeling. For example, a child who underwent surgery begins to “operate” his dolls and teddy bears - and thus he overcomes the stress that he had to endure.
The game meets all the age-related needs of the child: this is the need for movement, for independence, the need for new experiences. But the most important thing is that it is through the game that the child realizes his desire to be "like an adult." And the main task of an adult is not to “teach” the baby or dictate his vision of the process, but to observe the development of the game, to offer the child new storyline moves, new twists and turns. For example, playing in a store, you can offer your baby to open a “packaging department” - this will add variety to the game and allow the baby to learn how to beautifully wrap different objects.
Katerina Demina, a family and children's psychologist, recalls: “For children of primary school age, games are most suitable in which the child needs to establish social relations with peers, that is, it is very important that the children play together. That is why adult participation in the game should decrease over time, but it is necessary to provide children with conditions for common games with their peers. It’s very useful to play team games, both mobile ("bouncers", "rubber band"), and board games - there are a lot of them now. "
Play with me!
Of course, there are parents who do not know how or simply do not like to play. Often this causes us a strong sense of guilt: after all, a “good mother” should receive sincere pleasure from dressing up dolls or endless games in cars! But there is nothing wrong with the fact that you do not like to play or walk with a child, psychologists are sure. On the contrary, the stronger your guilt, the worse it is for your relationship: a passionate partner for games will not work out of you if you constantly do it through force or with irritation.
The solution is simple: do not be alarmed by the words “I'm bored!” - this does not mean at all that you should immediately offer the child some things, new games and entertainments, and even with your participation. And do not worry if the child (as you think) is not busy with anything useful or even just messing around. Pauses between activities and lessons - this is a very useful time! First, the child learns to hear himself, to understand his changing interests, to experiment, to choose what to do. Secondly, for him this is a great opportunity to dream and dream - because if the child’s brain is constantly studying, there are no resources left for dreams. And, finally, the third: the child just needs to learn how to manage his free time from obligations - and if this is not provided for in his tight schedule, then there will be little chance of learning to plan either.
And you, in turn, just do with your children what you like to do. Love to cook - create culinary masterpieces, fond of sports, art - introduce children. Draw comics, compose songs and “stories to continue”, read each other aloud, or dance. The main thing is that you spend this time next to each other - and enjoy it.
How to help your child overcome overwork
How to help your child overcome overwork:
- Organize a mode in which periods of physical activity, play, free time and time for classes and lessons will alternate. The regimen should be “floating” - it is not necessary to dose a walk or a game strictly by the minute, and as soon as the time “has run out”, urgently switch the child to another activity. The main thing is not how long the activity lasts, but the change of rhythm during the day.
- It is very important to gradually teach your child how to plan his day. The younger the child, the lower self-control, so at first he will need help in understanding how to properly distribute time. With preschoolers, you can draw a plan of the day together, the younger student can draw up his own schedule. And do not constantly push the child. From constant parental “faster, faster!” anyone will become nervous and, most importantly, will do everything only more slowly. Gradually lower control and pass it on to the child.
- Free time must include walks, this is especially important for moving children. It is for them that the best rest is active. In addition, the child should have time for "doing nothing." This is necessary not only for relaxation. Indeed, in fact, the child is always busy with something. So, the famous psychologist Valeria Sergeyevna Mukhina in her book gives an example of how a child just lay on the carpet and seemed to be not busy with anything. However, to the adult’s question: “What are you doing?” - answered: “I play.” He really played, only the whole game was played out in his imagination.